In March of 2020, our whole world changed in an unprecedented way – educationally, politically, socially, and personally. Due to the pandemic, the past twelve months our country has experienced a sense of chaos, uncertainty, and insecurity that has rattled even the strongest of human beings. Families and school communities have been challenged to rethink the way they were accustomed to functioning – the world was on lockdown! The pandemic has challenged us in ways that test our innate ability to adapt to survive. Disruption in jobs, schooling, and schedules wreaked havoc all at once. There was so much we couldn’t control, and parents had to take charge. That meant assuming the role of educator, technology guru, and health expert to name a few. The only choice was for parents to pick up the pieces and become the guiding force for their families, at a time when the world around them could not offer that. Parents managed to find inner peace, create a sense of certainty, and provide security for their families.
It’s now 1 year later. The time has come to take a pulse on parenting. The reset button has created the opportunity to recognize new skill sets and for some individuals a sense of appreciation for life’s little things. Even though we aren’t quite back to normal, we still forge ahead with great hope for what’s to come. What can parents continue to do to manage their current reality and be the best they can be – both for themselves and their families? In this article, the authors, both experienced educators, address the prospects of a new normal and possible implications for teaching and learning for the future. We have explored 8 survival tips for parents in our ever-changing world that can be universally adopted in all facets of life. Here are the 8: Be positive; be knowledgeable; be reactive; be collaborative; be resilient, be safe, be flexible, be balanced. Let’s explain our thoughts behind the 8 BE’s.
- Be positive
Since last March, adults have owed it to children to remain positive. It is our charge to be the steady force and protect our young generation, even when we aren’t sure we can. Your children are witnessing these events and may not know how to process what is around them. This is true of interactions with social media, which might include never ending negative messages. Parents, by demonstrating strength in character and positivity, will more likely encourage the optimism that is urgently needed at this time. Children need to know that you believe in them; yet have realistic expectations. Positivity can be expressed in the simplest ways, from a smile to acts of encouragement. Your children will, of necessity, lean on you to know everything will be fine and this too shall pass.
- Be knowledgeable
Knowing a child and understanding the world through their eyes can provide the insight to help them succeed. As we know from the prophet Kahil Gibran, you live in their world. You know your children the best. Being understanding of their ongoing needs and their internal thoughts should provide you insight into how they perceive the world around them. Parents have realistic expectations and avoid feeling disappointment when they do not deliver what you want, when you want. When your children have the chance to live out their hopes and dreams, you may see a part of themselves that you may have never imagined.
- Be creative
When we allow children time and space to respond and interact with different learning experiences, it signals to them that we trust their opinions and ideas. As we encourage creative products such as performance, artistic expression, and discourse, children transcend traditional ideas. You are showing your children that there are different ways to solve problems or approach an idea. It is important to first listen to their ideas and have a genuine conversation – being inquisitive while validating their creativity. Parents can be the catalyst to spark a curiosity that supports their children to perceive the world in new ways. Simply put, you can facilitate and guide, to open their mind and hearts to endless possibilities. Remember the old adage, it is best to be the “guide on the side” as opposed to the “sage on the stage”.
- Be collaborative
During this past year, it became evident that school communities and family partnerships are critical in raising a healthy child. A new definition of school community arose from the need to survive and harness new and diverse skill sets. We soon realized how all-inclusive a school community should be and how much they potentially impacted families, both academically and socially. As the world needed to adapt a collaborative culture to a digital platform, many challenges arose, yet your children were continually met with support and solutions. Parents don’t be afraid to reach out, there are people with expertise in your schools: counselors, social workers, psychologists, speech and language therapists, administrators to name a few. As you look ahead and learn from the pandemic, it is comforting to know the faces and voices of your children’s advocates that you can rely on. It takes a village to raise a child!
- Be resilient
How does one come back when faced with a setback? Reflect on this past year and the ways the world was able to change course, emotionally heal, and continue moving toward new goals. We have learned that it is a skill to be comfortable with making mistakes and not catastrophize them. When your children witness your resilience, you are modeling the ability to regulate emotions and use failure as a form of helpful feedback. This acquired behavior transcends into how children approach making mistakes while learning, both in and outside of school. You are setting them up to bounce back in healthy ways. Parents continue to be champions for your families as they face a different landscape, personally and professionally. It is important to keep negative thoughts from permeating your homes and lives. We can use a metaphor from baseball, it’s not the strikeout, it’s how you come back into the game.
- Be safe
Keeping our children safe this year took on a new meaning. We were overwhelmed and surrounded with new jargon – pandemic, vaccines, social distancing, mask wearing, sanitizing – which became part of our daily lives. We were abuzz with medical pronunciations, predictions, and predicaments on a regular basis. 24/7 social media news cycle was both informative and confusing. In this strange climate, families were still responsible for keeping your children safe, filtering the necessary age-appropriate information in ways that were easy to understand. You were bombarded with health and medical information. Parents were clearly feeling stressed, cleaning everything, wiping and sanitizing, while creating a safety hub for your children and yourselves, both at home and at school. Parenting at its simplest form is providing love and assuring that your children’s world is steady and safe. Children deserve the liberty to feel protected and safe in your care.
- Be flexible
Every day our world has been changing and will continue to do so, which defines us as humans. We have demonstrated a ready capability to adapt to new and different changing requirements and schedules. The way we watch movies, interview for jobs, attend a conference, go to school, consult with a doctor, all has radically changed. We had to grow and adapt to a better functioning life. Hopefully, your children have also developed a sense of flexibility and ownership in how they conduct their life – this is a good thing although as parents you may not have been prepared for this sudden shift. Parents, although there have been struggles, we must look for the silver lining here because your entire family may have acquired new life skills that will benefit your household now and in the future. What changes have you welcomed in your home recently?
- Be balanced
Finding balance during these times has been such a challenge because it requires energy of the mind, body, and soul. This may be a lot to manage, and it surely takes discipline. As a society, this year’s pause helped us to reset and reflect. Some would say we went back to basics, others rediscovered themselves and life’s simple pleasures. Whatever your situation was, there was a moment to find balance and time did slow down for some. Your children also had a moment to pause, for different families that meant different things. This past year was a time to stop, be present in the moment to maintain harmony at home and more importantly within yourself. Ask yourself this question, “Do you have a balanced home-professional life?” If not, “What steps are you going to take to improve this?” As a parent, the key to a balanced life is to know yourself and what works for your family. In the end, family is all we have. As you forge ahead, knowing when to step away and occasionally center yourself is paramount to making healthy decisions as a parent. Parents, take comfort in knowing you can’t control everything but rather you can create an environment that considers the individual needs of your family by making time to listen intently and lovingly.
Parents, we leave you with a final thought for now. When you have a moment, look into the eyes of your children, and embrace them. Together, you’ve just shared an experience of a lifetime, one that will be in your hearts and minds for years to come. Show yourself and your children grace knowing you are better because of the past year. You have been and will continue to be the best parent you can be. You see, teaching and learning truly begins in the home where you make the greatest impact in the success of your children. Celebrate the good that’s to come.
About the Authors:
Dr. Ilene Rothschild is an Associate Professor at Mercy College in New York. She teaches graduate courses in education and psychology. Dr. Rothschild is an experienced teacher, administrator and counselor who specializes in disability rights.
Layla Munson is an Education Administrator for the Division of Early Childhood in the New York City Department of Education. She supervises literacy coaches and support leaders and educators in three school districts in Bronx, New York. Layla Munson is a Doctoral student at Fordham University working on her the PhD in Innovation in Curriculum and Instruction.