Stand up to bullies: How to be an upstander to cyberbullying Part II

Continued from Stand up to bullies: How to be an upstander to cyberbullying Part I at https://boywriter.com/?p=543

So how can parents and teachers help these peer allies continue to intervene when they see cyberbullying take place? And how can they encourage reluctant bystanders to become upstanders? Below are seven suggested strategies for combating cyberbullying and promoting upstander behavior.

1. Get to know the social media apps and games that children use
   
   Parents and teachers need to familiarize themselves with the social media apps and games that their children and students engage with. Ask your children or students which apps and games they use, how much time they spend on each platform and with whom they interact. Be aware that app/game/device use changes constantly, so it is important to keep up to date with the latest trends.

The most common environments are:
-Social media (like Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok)
-Texting and email
-Games (like Minecraft, Roblox)

*Want to learn more about them including any potential risks of your child engaging with apps or social media? Common Sense Media has a guide for parents organized by app/game: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/parents-ultimate-guides.

2. Familiarize yourself with the ways that children can cyberbully one another

Cyberbullying can take the form of mean social media posts or excluding group texts, but it can also appear in other ways. Get to know the landscape of cyberbullying and how it can affect targets, those who bully and anyone who witnesses the incidents. Terms like doxing, cyber self-harm and sextortion might arise and it is helpful to understand what they mean.

*For more information about the types of cyberbullying, the Cybersmile website has more information: https://www.cybersmile.org/advice-help

3. Practice responses to reports of cyberbullying

It is important to plan ahead in case the child comes to you with a report of cyberbullying. Ask questions and make sure that the situation actually fits the definition of cyberbullying.

Some tips are:

1. Practice being a good listener
   1. Be hesitant to judge
   1. Help to provide resolution in compassionate way
   1. Check in regularly to make sure that the child is ok
   1. Seek outside help if necessary
      
      

*Signs that your child is being cyberbullied from Cybersmile: https://www.cybersmile.org/advice-help/category/is-my-child-being-cyberbullied

Signs that your child is bullying others online from Cybersmile: https://www.cybersmile.org/advice-help/category/is-my-child-a-cyberbully

Check YouTube for Cyberbullying Parent Guide (from Internet Matters)

4. Establish systems for reporting

What are the mechanisms in place in your school/town for reporting cyberbullying? Are there specific websites that address this or forms that need to be filled out? Familiarize yourself with local protocols and resources. Find out who the responsible point people are for reporting incidents of bullying and cyberbullying and learn more about how they help to follow up with and solve each incident. It is possible that you will also need to report the incident to the online site, app or provider and/or the police.

It is also important that you gather any evidence that you are aware of including dates, times and descriptions of situations. Save screenshots, texts and emails if you can.

For teachers: Does your school have an easy way for kids to report cyberbullying incidents themselves? Can they report anonymously? How can you help your school to improve its systems for reporting?

• Foster empathy
  
  Encouraging empathy both in person and online is a critical element of teaching your child to deal with cyberbullying. Below are some suggestions on how to foster empathy:
  • Model empathy and vulnerability yourself
  • Incentivize and reward acts of kindness
  • Encourage self-reflection
  • Design projects that encourage community collaboration
  • Use school programs or frameworks like PBIS (Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports) to set up a structure of positive reinforcement and student success. (Sevilla, 2019).

*How to Build Empathy and Strengthen Your School Community: https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/resources-for-educators/how-build-empathy-strengthen-school-community

• Remove or lessen barriers to intervention
  
  

Children have reported that they are sometimes uncertain about intervening. Common barriers to intervention include that children:

• Didn’t know what to say
• Thought they’d make it worse by intervening
• Thought they’d get hurt or become the target of the bullies
• Didn’t want to be considered a tattletale
• Don’t want to get in trouble with adults
• Are worried about getting caught because they have lied about their age to get access to social media and gaming sites
• Others listed in Chart B

CHART B

Parents and teachers need to remind children that:

1. There are many things that a child can do or say in the situation to help a peer.
2. If they have questions or are not sure what to do, they can go to a trusted adult for advice.
3. They will not get in trouble for reporting any cyberbullying incident.
4. There are reporting mechanisms in place.
   
   

Parents and teachers should not:

1. Hope that the situation will resolve itself on its own or that someone else will take care of it.
2. Dismiss the possibility that a child could be bullied for helping a peer.
3. Feel that it is necessary to deal with the situation alone. Contact school authorities or police as needed. When in doubt, seek assistance.

*Taking A Stand: A Student’s Guide to Stopping Name Calling and Bullying, Anti-Defamation League (https://www.adl.org/sites/default/files/documents/assets/pdf/education-outreach/Taking-a-Stand-color.pdf)

Check YouTube for Bystander Revolution – Demi Lovato

One more suggestion for parents and a concluding remark by authors will be continued at the last posting of this series.